sooo, i got to meet Ryan Reed today. he was so sweet and nice and took the time to walk over to the garage where my family was to meet us after one of the workers went to find him because i’m a type 1 diabetic and wanted to meet him. he took multiple pictures with me and dealt with my crying very well (turns out my blood sugar had been low and that’s why i was acting so different…and crying. a lot.). he talked with us about his journey with diabetes so far and how racing was dealing with it in the driver’s seat. he even took pictures with his own phone of us, which i definitely didn’t expect. it was a great experience and i’m glad i got to meet him- crying and all.
North Carolina… just here for a few days, but it’s a bit nicer here in Charlotte compared to Charleston- though Charleston was nicer to look at! ready to go back to Georgia and then back home to Texas… though I’m only home for like a week and a half before I go out of town for my internship! I miss having an actual summer break.
on a computer for the first time in a week… definitely different from looking things up on my phone (and cheaper, considering i’ve already gone over my data usage and it just renewed on the 12th…). i’ve missed this place sooo much. now i just have to do some catching up!
Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed
finally in Georgia- my home away from home. I’ve missed it soooo much.
about lost it with my mom earlier. I could’ve literally sent her to the hospital and wouldn’t have cared. I don’t think I’ve ever been that furious or pissed off in my life. you want to tell me my best friend is unhealthy for me? you treat me worse than he ever has. you think he puts too much stress on me? what about the way you’ve treated me for years. you’re the one who’s made me think about suicide and he’s one of the only reasons I stay alive. that entire conversation, and all your “defenses”, were bullshit. complete and utter crap.you always say shit like “you need to wear makeup. you’re wearing THAT? why aren’t you doing this? you should do something else with your life. why don’t you talk to people? how do you expect to do that?” hell. I remember the way you reacted when my sisters went to you because they knew I was contemplating suicide as you were ANYTHING but supportive. I remember when the doctor wanted to put me on antidepressants. your response was ” what did we do for our kid to turn out this way?” and ” how much is this going to cost us”. you give me a hard time about my therapy and panic attacks and school. all he ever does is support me. the last time he told me I was cute I had no makeup on and my hair wasn’t brushed. he use to sit on the phone with me when I was suicidal and would text me through my breakdowns. he still does. the last time i called him during a panic attack he walked me through a fucking breathing exercise. you wouldn’t even fucking know what to do. he calls me “love” and always let’s me know how important I am. he always reminds me that he’s happy we started talking and that I mean the world to him. he make me feel wanted and needed and cared about. YOU NEVER DO.